Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
