he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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