even my farts smell like vagina
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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