he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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