I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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