i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
