Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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