I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
