Pappa wants mamma naked
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
