Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
