Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
