he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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