I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
