Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
