I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
