told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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