why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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