your parents love me but you hate me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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