It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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