My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
