Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
