So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My dick has a subreddit
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
