Redeem this text for a blowjob
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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