Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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