pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
