Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Hippo gnu deer
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
