you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
They took my balls.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
