My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This girl is more easily done than said...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
