Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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