Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
