we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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