Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
