Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
