and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We have started to decorate penises.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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