Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
