i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
