We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My dick has a subreddit
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
