dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
