Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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