There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
