am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
