The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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