then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize