Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
