I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
