Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
