This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
