After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
