No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You are the jesus of drinking
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize