Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
