arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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