That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize