Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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