There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize