"it" just moved
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
