he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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