I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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