Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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