yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize