Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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