Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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