at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
