I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
