They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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