In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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