good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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